Archive for January, 2012

January 19, 2012

Even on my weakest day, I get a little bit stronger.

For the past couple of weeks my heart has been heavy and hurting. While I’m still happy and hopeful, feeling blessed and fortunate – it has certainly been a bit of a struggle trying to accept the things in life I cannot change. I’m actually really not good at that – accepting the things I cannot change and trying to understand that I can’t change everything, or everybody. It’s been quite the struggle to accept without putting up a fight, and quite a struggle to not want to put up a fight. But that’s the way life goes, and that’s how the cards fall sometimes. The key to survival is not focusing on all the moments, minutes and days that take the strength and exhaustion out of you. The key to survival is to remember that everything happens for a reason, that the pain you feel is what makes you stronger in the end and the unfortunate events that happen in life direct you to your path to make you who you are meant to be.  The key is to remember that even on your darkest, weakest day – you’re getting a little bit stronger.

My heart feels heavy but it is filled with love for a long time friend and might as well be family member, Catie Alcasid. Us South Africans have become each other’s family since immigrating to a new country where blood family is scarce. And while Catie and I haven’t lived in the same city in quite some time – family is family no matter where we are in the world. This week, Catie’s husband passed away. He was a man of happiness, laughter and love. Anthony Alcasid was a gift to the world, a delight to be around and contributed positively to his community. Catie has inspired us all with her on-going faith and strength as she was showered with support from hundreds of people both at the hospital and at the Celebration of Anthony Alcasid’s Life last night. There is no doubt that Catie and her family may have some trying times ahead, but they are certainly not alone. We are all here for you and your family, your strength is an inspiration and your faith is incontestable.  The key to survival is stay strong, keep believing in the good of the world, and to remember – even on your weakest day, you’re getting a little bit stronger.

My heavy heart and stubborn willingness to accept what I cannot change – only eludes me to once again think about how precious life is. My heavy heart wants to tell every person I care about, just how much they mean to me. It makes me want to tell the people I miss, that I think about them every single day. I want to tell the people that I love, that I love them even if they don’t love me back. Do the people you care about, know you care about them? Life is so precious, and every day truly is a gift. Live everyday as if it were your last. My heavy heart has been a struggle and a challenge, but I’m still hopeful that it will lead me right where I need to be. Even on my weakest day, I’m getting a little bit stronger.



January 3, 2012

New Chapter, New Promises, New Year

Like most people, I am blown away that a year has already come and gone and awestruck at how fast time flies by. Exactly one year ago today, I moved to San Francisco and started a whole new chapter of my life. Today, I would also like to turn the page and start a whole new chapter. Ironically, I don’t really have any New Year resolutions – realistically I’m probably not going to stop eating those sweets and fortunately I don’t have any bad habits I’d like to break. So this year, instead of resolutions and goals, I’m rather going to make promises to myself to continue trying to be the best person I can be, continue to do the things that make me happy, continue to surround myself with only the people who are true and great friends and always treat them like gold.

The year of 2011 – where do I even begin? This past year has undoubtedly been one of the best of my life. A year ago today I planted myself in one of the best cities in the world to explore new experiences, friendships, relationships and life. I came into 2011 with hopes and excitement. And to be honest, I ended 2011 in a place that I never really thought I’d end up. But all the while I’m so grateful to end up here – through the ups and downs, the fun times with great new friends, the relationships made and ended, and even ending with a little heartbreak to make sure things are kept interesting. I’ve enjoyed exploring this city and all it has to offer. I had several family and friends come visit me from all over the country in the past year (I’m about to start charging you all rent).  And as always, I fueled my addiction to traveling for both business and pleasure throughout the year. I had a tough time with some of my sports teams this year, but still remain a fan (speaking about #heartbreaks, eh). The best news of all, my sister got engaged and is now planning her wedding!  I can at least honestly say that the last year has exceeded my expectations of never having a mundane life!

Of course now I’m focusing on the year ahead, reminding myself to never forget how I got where I am, but also looking forward instead of back. I was so blessed to spend New Year’s Eve with the best of friends and start the year off right. My ‘promises to myself’ for 2012 are to learn from my 2011 mistakes (Lord knows there are lots of them), never regret letting people into my life and try to keep my heart open, keep my faith and never stop believing and dreaming, avoid a stressful and mundane life, and continue to do the things that make me happy. I have no doubts that 2012 will indeed be another one of the best years of my life. I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends who have help guide me to be the person I am meant to be.

So remember – a New Year is for looking forward but being grateful for the past. It’s about learning from your mistakes but not regretting the undesired. A New Year is a new chapter, with new characters if you choose. It’s for living life to the fullest and never letting a moment pass you by.  It’s your book, you can write the story.

I hope you have a truly wonderful 2012.