Archive for January, 2014

January 24, 2014

My Twenty Seconds of Insane Courage

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

― Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo

One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make thus far in my life, (yes I realize how fortunate that makes me), was to leave the city I absolutely fell in love with and head back to my home state of Arizona. I’ve struggled with withdrawals and missing very specific things about San Francisco, but something inside of me was telling me it was time to come home. As my readers know, my blog was designed to share stories, tid-bits and the happenings of my new life in San Francisco – with the hope to inspire someone along the way to live life to the absolute fullest.

So now what? I’ve been left feeling like perhaps I’’ll look like a phony if I continue to write my posts, or at least for this blog… urging people to ‘never give up on their dreams’ and ‘embrace every opportunity that comes their way” – but what did I do? I lived in San Francisco for three years – loved every single second of it – and then woke up one day and felt like the only place I was supposed to be is back where I came from.

Needless to say, I went back and forth about continuing this blog, and the truth is I haven’t been able to write for a while. When I moved back to Arizona, I felt anything but settled. My dad and I drove a U-Haul down, I was in town for ten days, then left on a trip for three weeks, then came back and moved into a different house, then left on another trip for a week, all while the holidays came and went, the New Year begun and I started my new job. I’m exhausted just from typing it all! The point is – I may feel silly about the last few ‘events’ that have taken place in my life and perhaps I’ve lost a little bit of my credibility; but something inside of me is telling me to keep going. And thanks to so many of my readers who have reached out and have been asking for more posts; I’m going to keep writing.

I recently watched an excellent movie, and not only does Matt Damon happen to be my most beloved and favorite actor, the movie struck so many cords in me. Most pressing, was his character’s quote about needing just twenty seconds of the most insane and embarrassing burst of courage and something great will happen.
I love that.

It got me thinking that while maybe I feel a little embarrassed that I left my dream life of living in San Francisco to move back in with my parents at twenty-five years old – maybe it all makes sense now. Perhaps the decision I made after a sleepless night on Thursday, September 19, 2013 when I called my parents at 7am to tell them I’m moving back … maybe that was my insane burst of courage that I really needed. It felt crummy and confusing at the time, but now – somehow – it all is starting to make sense.

Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery.

When was the last time twenty seconds changed your life? Today is my parent’s 33rd wedding anniversary and it’d be hard to find a couple more in love than they are. Thirty three years ago, my mom and dad had twenty seconds of the most insane bravery and decided to put one foot in front of the other and walk down an aisle. Words, emotions, feelings, fears, and blogs will never explain how grateful I am for their twenty seconds of courage that day. And something great happened.

Take twenty seconds today and do something real with it. Something really real.

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So, the blog will continue and the premise will remain. It took another twenty seconds of courage to hit the post button this morning and I can’t wait to see what great things lay down the way. Thank you for all of you, who asked, poked, joked, begged and pleaded (just kidding) for more posts, you encouraged me today.

It’s not my first time saying it and it’s not going to be my last – remember to just, love life.

Love,
Chianne

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