Archive for May, 2014

May 22, 2014

Those Shoes Just Don’t Fit

I have a favorite pair of work pumps that I love. They are simple; a unique color of beige with a shade of rose. They have small detailing around the ankle, but nothing obnoxious. They aren’t too high, and aren’t too low – which is hard to find in a good pair of business heels. The problem is, they’re slightly too small. And no matter how much I thought and hoped the leather would give a little, they didn’t. I wear these shoes often, because I love them, but after a while they hurt me. It’s been months and months now of trying to make these shoes work. But the truth is, those shoes just don’t fit right.

The most frustrating part is that they are, in fact, my size. The number printed on the shoe reads the exact same as other shoes, in the same designer, that fit perfectly. They are supposed to fit. Just like the other ones do. I bought them in a store, tried them on and thought while they may have been a little snug, surely that wearing them a couple times they’d too, fit just as the other pair does. But those rose shoes just don’t fit.

You would think it would only take me a handful of days of pain to come to terms with them being too tight.  Not true. I’ve had them for months, and even as I type these words, I’m not sure I’m ready to let them go. If I throw them away, there is a zero percent chance I’ll get to wear them again. If I keep them in my closet for a rainy day, perhaps for an occasion only lasting for a short while…

The mind has a way of convincing us of what we want to hear, doesn’t it? Our perception of the facts can so easily be tweaked, and facing reality is sometimes very difficult. I am particularly bad at this, and admire others that have a better handle on recognizing reality in plain view. Somebody recently told me, “If you want something, you should have hope”. And I agree. As long as the hope you have hasn’t totally distorted the truth of the situation and the facts, if perhaps the shoe just doesn’t fit. I haven’t decided if I will throw away my shoes, but I probably should. They may just be taking up room for another pair that wouldn’t require any convincing on my part about how good they fit.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am a dreamer, I believe in miracles, and I believe in giving something everything you’ve got to make your wish come true. Just remember to not let one thing take all of your hope, and not leave any hope left for the bigger and better miracles in store for you. You never know what He is up to.

Your Plans

 

 

All this with a grain of salt, if you must, but remember to just, love life.

 

 

 

Love,
Chianne

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May 5, 2014

the thorn in my foot

Sometimes the smallest, stupidest, silliest, and senseless things can throw you off.  A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night from what felt like a stabbing pain in the middle of my foot. I tried to ignore it and fall back asleep, but the pain was persistent and penetrating, and wouldn’t let me even drift off.  Not much can wake me up from my beloved sleep, so whatever this was needed to stop hurting me ASAP. I got up, very annoyed and frustrated, to check out what was hurting my foot in the light.

It wasn’t a spider bite or a big gash or anything you could really even see. It was a just tiny, baby little thorn.  I easily took it out with tweezers, and got back into bed and fell asleep wondering where the heck the stupid little thorn came from.

At that point, though, it didn’t matter where it came from or why it took five hours into my sleep to really start hurting. It didn’t matter that it was so small I could barely see it – it still hurt, and enough to jolt me up from what I would have preferred to be doing. I was frustrated that something so small aggravated me and got under my skin (literally), when I should have been able to not let something so minuscule cause me any pain at all.

Every once in a while life throws something at you that shouldn’t really push you off base, but it still might. Don’t focus on the fact that you were thrown off and didn’t see it coming, or make yourself feel guilty that it even hurt you in the first place. Just get back up, and focus on what you need to do to feel better. Take out the thorn and go back to doing what you preferred to be doing.

If you’re hurting from something or someone that you didn’t think was big enough to upset you, don’t feel silly. The more you tell yourself you’re stupid for feeling hurt, the less you’re giving yourself what you need to heal. Recognize its size compared to your strength, will and determination and that perhaps it’s just testing your faith.

Thorns and trials are just a way of reminding you to appreciate how good you have it, when things are good. They make you stronger, and better, and grateful.

While the thorn in my foot is gone, my life will never be void of trials. It doesn’t work that way. I just have to get up, pull out each thorn as they come, and be thankful for the strength and faith I have to keep going.

That – and continue to just, love life.abraham-lincoln-quote

Love,
Chianne